On the whole, I try to be as positive as possible, especially when it comes to popular culture. The problem, of course, is that so much stuff is just… shit. With that in mind, here lies five TV shows that really stunk the place out in 2017.

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Starting with…

5. Iron Fist

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Netflix series of Marvel shows have always trod the line between the sublime and the ridiculous. Jessica Jones is awesome obviously but the rest of them have struggled to maintain any kind of consistency for a full run. Iron Fist was just terrible from the off however…

Law of averages dictates that with so much content floating around, not everything that Marvel touches can turn to gold. And so we have Iron Man 3, Agents of SHIELD and now Iron Fist. Finn Jones just wasn’t charismatic enough to carry this series and the plot was dull and predictable.

4. Gunpowder

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Boasting the acting staring into the distance prowess of Kit Harington, Gunpowder started with a bang but finished with an uninspiring whimper as awesome things like torture were ruined by boring history. As well as Harington’s vacant performance, Tom Cullen was more hipster than revolutionary as Guy Fawkes and Mark Gatiss still hasn’t escaped from the considerable shadow of Mycroft Holmes.

Gunpowder had all the elements to be explosive but ended up being a disaster. A bit like the actual Gunpowder Plot come to think of it. Maybe that was the point…

3. Rellik

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Yep that would be Rellik as in killer backwards. And yes the protagonist is a badly burnt detective who plays by nobody’s rules but his own. Rather than being the dark fable that it wanted to be, Rellik came across more like a crap, British version of Sin City. 

The creators of the massively critically acclaimed smash Missing should really have known better. Rellik was closer to Monkfish than Luther.

2. Taboo

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On paper this should have been awesome. Peaky Blinders is easily one of the best shows of the decade so to reunite star Tom Hardy with creator Steven Knight should have been a winner. Instead, they churned out a pretentious, laughable mess with an incoherent story and utterly ridiculous characters.

Taboo seems to have divided opinion but I can’t recall ever being so thoroughly bored while watching a TV show. Like watching all the worst bits of the third season Peaky Blinders (every scene involving a Russian character basically) but without Tommy Shelby. More like Tapoo right? Right??

1. White Gold

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What an utterly execrable turd of a show this was. Completing a unhappy quadruple for the BBC, White Gold served as an unwanted throwback to a time of misogyny, shit acting and bad comedy. Boasting a cast of characters that wouldn’t look out of place at a twat convention, it is difficult to imagine any other reaction to White Gold than mild horror and sadness. White Gold should be consigned to the same place as its natural bedfellow white dog shit, namely in the distant past.

 

Give yourself a good wash and check out the ten best shows of 2017 instead.