Texas Chainsaw 3D – 4.5/10

Brainless and forgettable, but familiar like a warm blanket…


This is one of those horror films that is firmly marketed at teenage boys. You don’t see that many of them at the moment but it is a genre staple that will never truly die out. I must admit I have a weakness for this kind of shit.
Most of the cliché horror characters are here of course, the slutty girl, the tough black guy, the plucky heroine, the handsome stranger, the strange country bums who aren’t what they seem etc. There is very little originality on show. Indeed, at one point there is a funfair set piece that we have seen many times before (Zombieland, one of the Final Destination movies).
As with all horror films the survivors get over the terrible and gruesome deaths of their friends almost immediately and the police will send one man on his own to the scene of said murders. It is all very predictable but it is pretty fun, there are some great deaths along the way and that is all you can ask from this brand of nonsense really.
If you are the kind of person who gets annoyed by plot holes and unrealistic moments in movies however, stay well clear of this because essentially Texas Chainsaw is terrible film making. It made back over three times its ten million dollar budget though so what the fuck do I know? Oh also it has the most ridiculous end to a film (and also one of the worst lines, I actually grimaced upon hearing it) I have ever seen.

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