Rob Watches Movies

Reviews of every film I watch. The Good, The Bad and The Mothman Prophecies.

Tag: Transformers

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 3/10

Producer Michael Bay and director Jonathan Liebesman continue to flog dead horses whilst ruining people’s childhoods.

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Contrary to popular belief I actually think that Michael Bay did a decent job with the first Transformers movie. It was pretty faithful to the cartoon and the child in all of us fulfilled an ambition to watch robot behemoths battling it out. The problem with taking on the turtles project isn’t just the execution but the source material itself.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had already spawned four feature length movies, various TV shows and endless merchandise before this project begun. There was a clamour to see a return of the Transformers by the time it was rebooted in 2007 but is anyone really interested in seeing the ailing TMNT brand rebooted? (apparently yes according to the box office results).

Anyone hoping for a nostalgia trip back to their childhoods will be bitterly disappointed. Some characters such as April O’Neil and Shredder are unrecognisable from the cartoon whilst others such as Casey Jones, Krang and Bebop & Rocksteady are absent entirely.

The only constant is the turtles themselves who are still stuck in a time warp of pop culture references and horribly dated 80’s pastiche. Even with comedic genius Will Arnett featuring prominently, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is never intentionally funny and the script throughout is unforgivably cheesy and cringe inducing.

People don’t particularly act in Michael Bay films but even with such low standards Megan Fox continues to be an annoyance and is woefully miscast as April O’Neil while William Fichtner and Whoopi Goldberg look faintly embarrassed throughout.

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All this equates to a franchise that didn’t need rebooting filled with rubbish acting and corny dialogue. Possibly the worst reboot of all time.

Pacific Rim – 6.5/10.

IMDB Plot – As a war between humankind and monstrous sea creatures wages on, a former pilot and a trainee are paired up to drive a seemingly obsolete special weapon in a desperate effort to save the world from the apocalypse.
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The problem with Pacific Rim is that, very much like Avatar, the jaw dropping special effects don’t hide or make up for the normal action movie clichés or the lazy, stereotypical characters (‘mad’ scientist x2, reluctant hero brought back for one last mission, po faced military leader). There isn’t one memorable character in this entire film, nobody stands out acting wise.

The much lauded Idris Elba is totally unbelievable and to be honest a bit rubbish as the fearless leader (complete with motivational speech obviously). Cheesy dialogue, predictable plot twists and an anti climatic ending all make for a massively disappointing movie because it has to be said the special effects are utterly amazing. The Transformers movies look like an embarrassment next to this. Missed opportunity but worth a watch just for how wonderful it looks.

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