Crazy/Beautiful – 6/10

Terrible girl ruins life of everyone she comes into contact with but justifies behaviour with meaningless, prosaic platitudes.


Obviously any film that has the lead character ostentatiously blurting out the films title and also saying lines such as ‘Look how good our skin looks next to each other. It’s beautiful’ is going to be a little bit shit but Crazy/Beautiful actually has a certain charm to it and to be fair considering the ridiculous script and clichéd story, main actors Kirsten Dunst and Jay Hernandez actually put a good shift in.

Dunst is particularly solid considering the character she is playing is written as a hysterical, ridiculous brat. Hernandez manages to keep a straight face while line after line of terrible dialogue spills forth from Dunst’s mouth which makes it a good performance in itself and Bruce Davison also does well in the face of Dunst drunkenly shrieking at him for 100 minutes. The film is indeed an endurance test for all involved. The audience, the actors, the Latin American community, humanity as a whole…

In conclusion I will leave you with the synopsis and I dare you to read it with a straight face:

‘At Pacific Palisades High, a poor Latino falls hard for a troubled girl from the affluent neighbourhood.’

It’s crazy. And beautiful.

All the Pretty Horses – 5/10.



Two Texas cowboys travel to Mexico in order to find work. Adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s ( The Road, No Country For Old Men) novel.

Everything about this movie looks terrible on paper. The storyline. The trailer. Even the poster (see above). I watched it for two reasons. One because I saw Billy Bob Thornton’s directorial début Sling Blade and I loved it. The other reason is Matt Damon (I’m a big fan). All the Pretty Horses is not as awful as it looks but it definitely isn’t great either. The first forty minutes are pretty enjoyable, particularly the scenes featuring Lucas Black as a young outlaw they pick up on the way. Then Penélope Cruz appears and it all goes to shit. The problem with this film is nobody with an interest in romantic drama is going to sit through forty minutes of pure Western before the romance starts and everyone else will be put off by the romance side of it. It is the worst of both worlds. Apparently Miramax cut about an hour out of Thornton’s final cut. This could have saved the movie. Alas a directors cut is yet to see the light of day so we may never know.