Rob Watches Movies

Reviews of every film I watch. The Good, The Bad and The Mothman Prophecies.

Tag: Arrested Development

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 3/10

Producer Michael Bay and director Jonathan Liebesman continue to flog dead horses whilst ruining people’s childhoods.

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Contrary to popular belief I actually think that Michael Bay did a decent job with the first Transformers movie. It was pretty faithful to the cartoon and the child in all of us fulfilled an ambition to watch robot behemoths battling it out. The problem with taking on the turtles project isn’t just the execution but the source material itself.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had already spawned four feature length movies, various TV shows and endless merchandise before this project begun. There was a clamour to see a return of the Transformers by the time it was rebooted in 2007 but is anyone really interested in seeing the ailing TMNT brand rebooted? (apparently yes according to the box office results).

Anyone hoping for a nostalgia trip back to their childhoods will be bitterly disappointed. Some characters such as April O’Neil and Shredder are unrecognisable from the cartoon whilst others such as Casey Jones, Krang and Bebop & Rocksteady are absent entirely.

The only constant is the turtles themselves who are still stuck in a time warp of pop culture references and horribly dated 80’s pastiche. Even with comedic genius Will Arnett featuring prominently, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is never intentionally funny and the script throughout is unforgivably cheesy and cringe inducing.

People don’t particularly act in Michael Bay films but even with such low standards Megan Fox continues to be an annoyance and is woefully miscast as April O’Neil while William Fichtner and Whoopi Goldberg look faintly embarrassed throughout.

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All this equates to a franchise that didn’t need rebooting filled with rubbish acting and corny dialogue. Possibly the worst reboot of all time.

The To Do List – 3/10.

A sexually inexperienced girl decides to lose her virginity before going to college.
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Writer/director Maggie Carey somehow contrives to make a very likeable cast churn out a terrible, embarrassingly bad film. Said cast includes Audrey Plaza as the protagonist, Alia Shawkat (Maeby from Arrested Development), Clark Gregg (Agent Coulson from Avengers, Young Neil from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Bill Hader, Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Mclovin’) and Andy Samberg. Why any of those people (except Bill Hader who is married to Carey so kind of has to) got involved in this I will never know.
A juvenile and totally outdated concept with one dimensional, un-likeable characters and even a rubbish soundtrack to say it is set in 1993. Carey somehow even makes Audrey Plaza obnoxious which is unbelievable.
The To Do List is a throwback to smut fests of old like Porky’s, but at least Porky’s was actually funny, if a little charmless. The To Do List however is wildly offensive to both sexes, completely unoriginal and worst of all it is nearly two hours long! Only some decent Bill Hader one liners save this from The Mothman Prophecies territory.

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