The Score – 8/10

The story of a criminal coming out of retirement for one last score has been done to death but the cast is so good for this it doesn’t matter. Ed Norton shows why he was IMO the best actor of his generation, De Niro can still be great when he can be bothered and Marlon Brando has lots of fun in what turned out to be his last film. If you like slick crime thrillers such as oceans eleven this is for you.

The Cabin in the Woods – 8/10.

Starts out as wilderness horror movie with a twist. Shoots for being what scream was to slasher flicks but just falls short, with evil dead and the hills have eyes being the only touching off points really. Around the hour mark though it goes fucking nuts and it is worth sticking around for. One 10-15 minute sequence is superb. Well written but one criticism is I proper didn’t care about any of the characters. Overall an original and imaginative film in a genre that has so few.

Ed Wood – 5.5/10.

It is worth noting that I have a long standing and intense dislike for Tim Burton and his work. As in pretty much every Tim Burton film, the characters are so cartoonish whilst at the same time lacking any real charisma that it is impossible to feel anything for any of them which renders it all a bit pointless. Depp does a decent job but this film is far too long, Bill Murray is criminally underused and it did nothing to change my opinion on Burton.

The Great Outdoors – 5/10

‘Comedy’, Not enough interaction between Aykroyd and John Candy, a bizarre ending that feels like it was written for another film and added on to this one. Watch planes, trains and automobiles instead.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa – 7/10.

ImagePartridge’s big screen début just about ends up a success. Unlike The Inbetweeners say, Partridge loses some of its charm in its transition to the big screen. It is still laugh out loud funny in moments but there is nothing to rival the best moments of Im Alan Partridge. After such a long wait I felt slightly disappointed with Alpha Papa. If you haven’t seen them already I would recommend taking a look at the youtube only series Mid Morning Matters with Alan Partridge instead.

Sightseers – 7/10

A socially awkward couple go on a caravanning holiday that takes an unexpected turn.


Up and coming director Ben Wheatley is at the helm for this odd, dark, funny, charming and quintessentially British drama/comedy/horror/fuckknows. Anyone who has seen Kill List, Ben Wheatley’s, frankly bonkers, other main work, can imagine the kind of dark territory this film ends up embracing.

It starts out like the episode of I’m Alan Partridge where he is advertising caravans and ends up like a brummie version of Natural Born Killers, I’ve yet to fully fall in love with Wheatley in the same way a lot of others have but he is definitely an original voice in the British horror scene at the moment.

Tyrannosaur – 8/10 (Second viewing)

Powerful urban deprivation themed drama from writer/director Paddy Considine. Taking his cues from long time collaborator Shane Meadows, Tyrannosaur does not flinch from its overriding motif of bullying and domestic violence and is frequently a difficult watch. Peter Mullan and Olivia Colman are both extraordinary and lift this well directed fable from solid début to a minor classic. Unrelentingly bleak but a great film that I found even more powerful second time round.

The Mothman Prophecies – 0/10.

Ladies and gentlemen. My least favourite film of all time!

(takes a deep breath). Right… where to start with this one… This is probably the most boring, slow, devoid of anything at all movie I have ever seen (with the possible exception of The English Patient but that is just not my kind of film).

Even Richard Gere loses interest about 45 minutes in and just spends the rest of the film in darkened rooms talking on phones to people who may or may not be real. The ‘prophecies’ of mothmen are a little premature as they have about 50 seconds of screen time.

This all builds to a painfully meh crescendo of something happening on a bridge. I would literally rather watch a packet of custard creams for 1 hour 58 minutes than waste any more of my time with this. I would rather be the gerbil up Richard Gere’s ass than have to watch him look as bored as I was with the endless nothingness that is happening around him.

Before this, Tekken was the worst film I had ever seen, but bearing in mind this film had a budget of £32 million (!) I think I might have a new winner. 0/10