‘Keep telling yourself it’s just a game…’

Shit, mainstream horror films are like a comfort blanket to me. If I can’t think of anything else to do, I can always fall back on a group of supposed teenagers being killed off by some supernatural being to centre me. Ouija continues the time honoured tradition of being totally critically panned whilst also making shit loads of cash. An impressive feat.

The mysterious death of a local teenage girl prompts her friends to investigate the murky circumstances around her passing. Once a Ouija board is found to be involved, all bets are off. Laine Morris is the leader of this hysterical little clan played by a straight-faced Olivia Cooke. The Oldham actress is fine but it is difficult for anyone to shine with such a run of the mill script. The rest of the cast are as forgettable as they are uniformly attractive. It was ever thus.

The production of Ouija was troubled from the start with budget cuts and re-shoots resulting in a totally different movie to the one that was initially planned. Test audiences hated the original cut so much that bona fide scream queen Lin Shaye was brought on board. Shaye has appeared in everything from Nightmare on Elm Street to the Insidious franchise and even her legendary status in the horror world can’t save Ouija.

There isn’t a single shred of originality or unpredictability. Not one moment of sincere acting or clever direction. It is the cinematic equivalent of a bowl of corn flakes. Bland, uninspiring, yet comforting in its familiarity. I enjoyed it of course. And I will watch the sequel as I am a glutton for punishment. Especially when it tastes like cornflakes.