Nine strangers wake up in a house together and try not to outwardly groan at the grim predictably of their situation.
One of the most bizarre casts assembled in recent years (Dennis Hopper, Peter Capaldi, Kelly Brook(!)) conspire to make something you could just about classify as a ‘movie’. As I have stated before horror as a genre is the most guilty of taking an original idea (Slasher, Found Footage, Haunted House) and running it into the ground until it is ruined. House of 9 takes the bold step of taking an idea already ran into the ground (‘psychological’ gimmicky horror – thanks Saw) and adding absolutely nothing to it.
Dennis Hopper gets though it by speaking in about 6 wildly varying accents throughout the film, Peter Capaldi looks faintly embarrassed throughout and Kelly Brook looks genuinely confused and lost by the whole thing.
Despite all of this I found House of 9 mildly interesting. Watching this film is akin to watching two giraffes have sex, you are never bored but there is no artistic merit to it.