GOT Episode Review: The Spoils of War

Season 7, Episode 4

FUUUUCCCKKK! Well that was jaw droppingly, unbelievably good. Normally I would try and work through the hour chronologically but there is only one place to start in that episode. Daenerys brutal attack on the Lannister army at Highgarden was probably the shows most gripping moment since the Red Wedding. None of the main characters have been in any real peril for so long that it was achingly tense to see Bronn, Dany and finally Jamie all almost killed. To finally witness the full, awesome power of the dragons was a pay off that was worth waiting for now that the show has the budget to properly realise their sheer brute force. My only minor gripe with the ending was the cliffhanger around whether Jamie is alive or dead. After seven seasons nobody is going to just stop watching now, it is a cheap trick designed to generate buzz that really isn’t necessary. You expect that kind of crass and unoriginal shit from something like The Walking Dead but GOT has often strived to be better.

As good as the battle slaughter sequence was, the rest of the episode was a little underwhelming. The family reunion at Winterfell served only to confirm just how much the Stark children have changed. Sansa is obviously uncomfortable with Arya’s murderous ways and Bran has taken Theon’s mantle of being the most infuriating character on the show. Speaking of the youngest Greyjoy, he rocks up at Dragonstone and once again we see Jon Snow refusing to show any kind of leadership and allowing him to live, despite his betrayal of Robb Stark back in season 3. It is astonishing that Theon is still alive and the extent of Jon Snow’s mercy is utterly baffling. He really does know nothing.

Another week goes by and still no sign of The Hound. I would totally watch a spin off taking in whatever chicken based adventures he has been up to in the meantime. Not much happened at Kings Landing either with the Iron Bank promising their loyalty to Cersei as long as the Lannisters pay their outstanding debt. The fact that much of what was plundered has now been scorched by dragon fire presents something of a problem for the troubled queen. Expect her wine glasses to grow larger as the season progresses.

Stray Observations

  • Bran really is a shit character isn’t he. Imagine being poor Meera Reed, traipsing round Westeros listening to him drivel on about ravens, only to be unceremoniously cast aside as soon as Bran is home. That guy is the worst.
  • Brienne of Tarth and Arya’s sword fight was fine. Not sure what narrative purpose it served but it looked good. Podrick Payne looked on, presumably idly pondering that time he banged those whores. Pimprick Payne more like. Am I right?
  • The unfortunately named Dickon Tarly has come from nowhere hasn’t he? Quite like him though. I hope to see more of him trading stories with Jamie and Bronn.
  • Was Ned Stark’s statue designed by the same guy that did the Ronaldo one? Looks more like Cher than Ned Stark…

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