5 Terrible Bands That I Love Anyway

Firstly, I’d like to say that there is no such thing as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. If you like something then you like it, it’s as simple as that. That doesn’t mean however that one should be unable to objectively listen to something and know, deep in their hearts, that it is terrible. My music collection is actually full of artists like this. Here are five of the worst of them…

5. Savage Garden

Albums owned: Savage Garden, Affirmation, Truly Madly Completely

Best songs: I Want You, To the Moon & Back, Truly Madly Deeply

Why are they crap?

Well… look at them for a start. They look like they should be talking to your girlfriend about free love while offering her a free surfing lesson. Savage Garden released their debut album the same year as Oasis dropped Be Here Now, the latter were my favourite band but I had to keep my undying love for Savage Garden a secret.

The flip side of all that negativity is that the Australian band definitely had some bangers. I challenge anyone to put their first album on after a few pints and not sing along to every word. Just me?

4. Papa Roach

Albums owned: Infest, Lovehatetragedy

Best songs: Last Resort, She Loves Me Not, Between Angels and Insects

Why are they crap?

I mean Papa Roach did themselves no favours did they. If, as a lead singer, you are going to call yourself Coby Dick, you need to be fronting a much better band than Papa Roach. At the forefront of the nu metal scene, Papa Roach had all the subtlety of a sledgehammer and wore quite a few hearts on their baggy sleeves, bless ’em.

I think my blind spot for Papa Roach can be summed up thusly. I saw the Californian band at Ozzfest in 2001. 14 year old me thought it was one of the most spellbinding experiences of my young life. When I got home I taped that same show from the radio, clutching my anarchy keychain in anticipation, only to find that Papa Roach actually sounded awful live. Still though… CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES, THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!

3. Necro

Albums owned: The Sexorcist

Best songs: Who’s Ya Daddy?, Light My Fire

Why is he crap?

There are two sides to Necro. As a producer he is capable of creating compelling and melodic beats. As a rapper however… well he has to be heard to be believed. The problem with Necro is that while he is funny, and occasionally unintentionally clever, his misogynistic and hateful persona is not an act. A quick glimpse at the rappers Facebook page confirms this. Song titles such as ‘Vaginal Secretions’, ‘I Degrade You’ and perhaps most memorably of all, ‘We Fuck Virgins’ gives you some idea of the kind of lyrical content that the Brooklyn rapper favours.

If you can see past the questionable themes however, Necro does actually create rap music that I want to listen to. Also my wife hates him so that makes me like him more obviously.

2. Bloodhound Gang

Albums owned: Use Your Fingers, One Fierce Beer Coaster, Hooray for Boobies, Hefty Fine, Hard-Off

Best songs: Fire Water Burn, Along Comes Mary, The Bad Touch.

Why are they crap?

Hmm… This one is the most difficult for me as I genuinely love the Bloodhound Gang and, also, I really want to believe that they have more self awareness than the others on this list. There is a nagging feeling that this isn’t the case however.

The Pennsylvanian band burst on the scene with the ubiquitous world wide smash ‘The Bad Touch’. While most people forgot about them soon after, I stuck with them and have loved each album the band has released since. They are funny, catchy and pretty damn unique. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only person who thinks this. At this point it feels like I love Bloodhound Gang more than Bloodhound Gang love Bloodhound Gang.

1. Insane Clown Posse

Albums owned: The Great Milenko, Jeckel Brothers.

Best songs: Piggy Pie, Halls of Illusions

Why are they crap?

ICP’s crimes against music are many and disparate. The hip hop duo of Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J dress up in clown make up and spray their fans with soda at shows. Their fans call themselves Juggalos and have been investigated by the FBI. They have had various run ins with the law and notably with Eminem who had a ongoing feud with them for many years.

It is possible that ICP are the most derided band in music history. SPIN magazine noted the band were offensive “not for their obscenity… but for their stupidity’. The Guardian described the band as “a magnet for ignorance”. GQ named ICP the worst band of all time. And yet… I have listened to The Great Milenko more than I have some albums by The Beatles. ‘Piggy Pie’ is one of my all time favourite songs. What is wrong with me?

There we have it. Five terrible bands that I have welcomed into my music collection with open arms. They are NOT a guilty pleasure though. I am proud of every band that has helped to shape me into the terrible man you see before you today. And in the immortal words of the Insane Clown Posse “Santa Claus is a fat bitch”.

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